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The Worst Movies Michael's Ever Seen

There are assuredly worse cinematic abominations than these. Sometimes movies are so abjectly awful you grow fond of them (The Room, Teeth). These are ones I paid money to see (in theaters or rentals) and walked away feeling cheated and defiled. Some are just outright Scottish toilets of movies; some JUST TRY TOO HARD (100 POINT NEON FONT); some are too winky/cheesy or, conversely, take themselves waaay to seriously; some have unintentionally, but deeply, unlikable center characters; some are pet peeves (I really dislike anything where the answer to a woman's problems is a rich man); some are unholy monstrosities of bright colors, loud noises, and hyper-kinetic images, like Bart Simpson on a Squishy bender. The Passion of the Christ is in its own category of sacrilege by reducing the loving gift of grace to leering, salacious torture porn.
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1
1980's Roger Moore James Bond Films (1983)
1980's Roger Moore James Bond Films (1983)
2
30 Minutes or Less (2011)
30 Minutes or Less (2011)
3
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
4
Armageddon (1998)
Armageddon (1998)
5
Batman & Robin (1997)
Batman & Robin (1997)
6
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
7
Billy Madison (1995)
Billy Madison (1995)
8
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
9
Boat Trip (2002)
Boat Trip (2002)
10
Bolero (1984)
Bolero (1984)
11
Braveheart (1995)
Braveheart (1995)
12
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
13
Chicken Little (2005)
Chicken Little (2005)
14
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Clash of the Titans (2010)
15
Clifford (1994)
Clifford (1994)
16
The Dark Tower (2017)
The Dark Tower (2017)
17
Dreamcatcher (2003)
Dreamcatcher (2003)
18
Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy
Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy
19
The Godfather: Part III (1990)
The Godfather: Part III (1990)
20
Grown Ups (2010)
Grown Ups (2010)
21
Heaven Help Us (1985)
Heaven Help Us (1985)
22
The House (2017)
The House (2017)
23
Howard the Duck (1986)
Howard the Duck (1986)
24
Identity Thief (2013)
Identity Thief (2013)
25
Jack and Jill (2011)
Jack and Jill (2011)
26
The Longest Yard (2005)
The Longest Yard (2005)
27
The Love Guru (2008)
The Love Guru (2008)
28
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
29
Meet the Fockers (2004)
Meet the Fockers (2004)
30
Monkeybone (2001)
Monkeybone (2001)
31
My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
32
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
33
The Pink Panther (2006)
The Pink Panther (2006)
34
Pixels (2015)
Pixels (2015)
35
Powder (1995)
Powder (1995)
36
Pretty Woman (1990)
Pretty Woman (1990)
37
Problem Child (1990)
Problem Child (1990)
38
Sausage Party (2016)
Sausage Party (2016)
39
Secrets & Lies (1996)
Secrets & Lies (1996)
40
Showgirls (1995)
Showgirls (1995)
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