For many of us, the task of cultivating the tastes, opinions, and dispositions that constitute an earnest human personality is just too daunting. Luckily the lord, in his infinite wisdom, has provided an adequate substitution for genuine substance: Jackass hot-takes on things that don't matter!
This holiday season, give the people forced to be around you for whatever reason the gift of the illusion that your lights are on. Take a stand and adamantly insist that your favorite Christmas movie is — get this — not a traditional Christmas movie, but sort of one on technicality!
