Love Won't Keep You on Television: Awful Variety Shows of the 1970s and Early 80s

After the surprise success of "The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour" circa 1971, execs at the Big 3 networks spent the rest of the decade trying to revive the dying variety show format with has-been pop stars like Bobbie Gentry, newly-minted pop stars like Helen Reddy and Tony Orlando, desperate A-listers like Bill Cosby and Mary Tyler Moore, aspiring B-listers like Susan Anton and Tim Conway, however one would describe third-rate comic Jeff Altman and minor Japanese pop sensation Pink Lady, and even . . . mimes. Most of them were embarrassing failures inane enough to make current "reality TV" series look like Ken Burns documentaries. The rise of cable in 1981 finally convinced the Big 3 that they couldn't combat nudity and violence with Donny & Marie. Until then, it was lights, camera, and Kate Smith singing an Elvis medley.